Recently, the folks at Custody Xchange reached out to me about some parenting articles I’ve written. Custody Xchange is a company that helps divorced parents manage schedules and communication.
Note: Custody Xchange has paid services, including a subscription plan. I am not financially involved with this company, I do not get any referral bonus if you sign up, and I cannot speak to their paid service because I have not used it.
In addition to their scheduling and communication resources, Custody Xchange has a free Mindful Co-Parenting Guide on their website. This guide takes you through telling your kids about an upcoming divorce, making and maintaining appropriate and stable rules and discipline in multiple households, cooperating with the other parent, and managing kids’ emotional and behavioral responses. It also talks about blending families, the court system, and gives you concrete tools for making a parenting plan.
Something I often point out to divorced parents is that if they got along perfectly, they probably would not be divorced. This means there is history, conflict, hurt feelings, and disagreements that can get in the way of effective co-parenting.
Your feelings about your ex are valid, and also you have a responsibility to your children to create and maintain a parenting plan. Even though divorce is sometimes the healthiest and safest choice for a family, children need consistency and stability, and it is the parents’ responsibility to provide this.
Of course, you cannot control what the other party does, only what you do. Fortunately, this guide includes practical tips for managing conflict with your ex and coping when they are unwilling to work with you.
Get additional support if you need to, including having your own therapist. Fortunately, tools like Custody Xchange’s Mindful Co-Parenting Guide can help you with the many aspects of raising a child post-divorce.